today // around 6:15 pm I had a missed call from my step dad & not even a second later, my brother John was calling me. I answer the phone & he tells me that he's driving to the hospital & that our mom had a seizure. I collapsed. Nothing like this has ever happened before- I wasn't expecting to hear those words. My older sister Jessica has epilepsy, so there's been a few calls like that, so I had to do a double take when he said "mom". After about an hour of me hysterically crying, trying to figure out how to get home- I found out that she was responsive & getting tests done. I'm more anxious & tense than I've ever been. I would rather feel the pain of child birth a million times over than hear any bad news about my family, especially my mama. I still can't stop crying or wanting to drive through the night to be with her. All of the tests came back negative but they are still sending her to a neurologist this week so they can go more in depth about what caused her seizure. My mom has always been healthy, so this is just a huge shock to me. I still can't wrap my head around it. Things change so quickly! Life is so fragile. That woman is my rock, my best friend. I call her every single day. Living away from her is already so hard for me. I've been through everything with her. I could go on for days about how much I look up to her. She is exactly who I want to be when I grow up. Whenever someone tells me that I look like her, I take it as the worlds greatest compliment. She is everything.
The only reason I decided to share this was mostly because I needed an outlet, but also cause as much as I want this day to be over & as much as I never want to remember how I felt when I heard the news, it's a reminder to me. I'm so glad that I never hang up the phone without telling my family how much I love them, or miss them. Life can change in the blink of an eye.
While all of this was going on, I caught myself thinking of so many different memories I've had with her because I needed to picture her anywhere but that hospital. We have been on so many adventures & I'm sure we will go on many more.
Be strong, mama. I love you so much.
