friendship

It feels like ever since I found out I was pregnant- some friendships grew stronger & others slowly weakened. I tried my best to stay positive & attempt to keep putting my best effort towards those friendships but the closer I got to welcoming Hudson into the world, the less I cared to put my energy into friendships that were one sided. It's exhausting! During pregnancy, you are already going through so much & gaining a beautiful relationship with the baby growing in your belly. That connection becomes the most important & other relationships become so small compared to it. 

Now that he's here, he is my very best friend. It's hard to imagine even a minute without him. I spend my days reading to him, teaching him, bringing him on adventures, cuddling with him, nursing, & embracing every single moment I can. Don't get me wrong, it's not always perfect & some days, I just need a break. But when I get those breaks, I want to confide in friends who want to be apart of my life & listen to me vent occasionally. It doesn't happen very often - cause I don't share many personal problems with people. I always strive to have balance in my life, on top of trying to make myself a better person/wife/mother every day. Some days are waaaay better than others! I think having such a positive state of mind can be annoying to people who are negative. So maybe that's why some of those friendships fade away. Who knows - maybe it's just part of growing up. All I know is, I want friends who love me & my family - through & through. Not just fair weather friends.

I only have a select few who are my forever friends, the ones I know I'll be sharing all my motherhood years with -  ones I can call crying, ones who ask me about how my baby is doing, ones who will always, always be there. I'm blessed to have the amazing, genuine friends I do have. These days, women seem to compete about everything- especially when it comes to motherhood. I just don't understand it though. Every person is different- so why wouldn't every woman mother differently. There isn't just one way. I have gotten advice from so many different women. I take bits n pieces & use their knowledge daily. I wouldn't have it any other way. I just hope to be only surrounded by the best, even if it's only a few. I also hope that I can always strive to be a better friend, listen more, & help as much as I possibly can. 

My heart is so full. The past few days I've been reading the most heart breaking stories about babies/children with all different severe illnesses & mothers who have lost their pregnancies/children. I can't help but catch myself crying randomly or saying prayers for them & their families. I feel so deeply for them. I can't even imagine going through that type of pain. Especially after having a healthy pregnancy & baby boy. Life is so fragile. I think that's why I chose to be so positive & honored through my pregnancy. I was terrified of losing him- because I had miscarried the year before. It was one of the hardest experiences I had ever gone through, but my experience seems so small compared to these women who have lost their children. 

I pray for them every night. I ache for each & every family who has experienced such an immense loss. I lose sleep over reading these stories. I wish so bad that there was a way to help- to ease the pain or comfort them in some way. 

Every day, I remind myself to be patient & to feel blessed for the amazing experience I had being pregnant, giving birth, & raising my sweet boy. If there's anything I've learned, it's that time flies in the blink of an eye. I've learned that there will come a day where my baby will be grown, & I won't get to spend my days staring into his big brown eyes while I nurse him. I appreciate every moment. I have to- because don't want to miss a thing. This is my greatest accomplishment & blessing. I thank God every single day for this life.

// image found on Pinterest

yoga + meditation

I have been practicing yoga since I was about 17. It has helped me through so many different phases of my life. It was my way of finding myself, my inner peace. I have never really used it as a workout! I started out just stretching, before bed & random throughout the day. Then I started lighting candles & meditating at night. At first, I laughed at myself - sitting there in silence, saying "om" but it didn't take me long to realize how beneficial it was. Everything got silent, & I started teaching myself to shut out the world. Of course, I'm not master at meditation - but I've gotten better & better over the years!

I didn't realize how important yoga & meditation was to me until I had Hudson! My body was so different! My balance was off, my legs weren't flexible, & I could barely do a solid twenty minutes of stretching. But I kept at it! Even when Hudson was brand new- I would get him to sleep, then do my yoga poses in the dark, just to help myself wind down. There has been so many times that I've just wanted to go to bed or sit down & eat cookies - but I remind myself how much better I feel after. Even if it's just meditating for a few minutes! I need it. I have to calm my body & mind. 

Now that it's a new year & I'm feeling back to my old self, I want to become a more advanced yogi. I have already been practicing every day & hope to attend some classes when Shawn has a day off to watch Hudson! I have never actually taken a class. So I know I'm in for an amazing experience! I bet I have a lot more to improve on than I even realize! I will start posting photos of my progress.i can't wait to see how much better I will get by the end of the year! 

\\ 10 months

I don't even know where to begin!! This boy is a ball of energy & fun. The older he gets, the more his personality develops & I absolutely love it!! He is hilarious! Lately he has been doing anything to make us laugh! He fake laughs, throws his head back, leans over like he can't handle the laughter & even claps his hands. He knows how to wave, say "hey" & points at things he wants or just random things in the air. He loves American flags, balloons, & women. Oh man- I am in for it, you guys. He is such a flirt! We went to dinner the other night & the waitress was hysterically laughing every time she came to the table. He would watch for her, wave, flash her his big toothy grin & bang on the table. I love how happy he is! Everywhere we go, he makes new friends. I've never known such a beautiful, energetic little spirit!

During his 10th month, he got his first stomach bug. It was so sad - it broke my heart to see him that way. I was so glad that it only lasted 24 hours! While he was sick, he also cut 4 top teeth! So he has 6 now! He still doesn't like very many solid foods other than organic yogi bites, applesauce, sweet potatoes & any type of fruit! I'm not pushing too much on getting him on lots of food. We do everything at our own speed & he is still nursing like a champ. 

Dislikes - wearing clothes, having socks on (like his mama), being told "no!", mashed potatoes, being put down when he's tired or just waking up, when I take anything from him, & barking dogs.

Loves- cabinets, anything that has wheels or he can push, anything he can use as a drum, appliances, old remotes, pretending like he's driving the car, pillows, peek-a-boo, & cuddling with mom n dad when he's sleepy. 

He has taken about 10 steps on his own. We practice every day! He gets so excited & starts waving his arms around that he usually falls down. Haha he's really slow n steady with his walking tough- he doesn't just take off. He practices balance with each step he takes!

Every age has been so much fun- I love having new adventures & being able to do more with him & watch his personality grow! He is so contagious - it makes this journey that much more fun! I love my happy, crazy, little cub.

fearless

So I've always gone back & forth about how much of my life I share on social media & my blog. Not because I care about people's opinion of me & my family, but because it terrifies me not knowing who sees it. Because of things I experienced as a child, I have a problem trusting people & how much I share with them. But, lately I have felt so strongly that I should be more fearless. I can't stop writing & documenting because I'm scared sometimes. When I look back & read my posts about my pregnancy, I'm SO glad I shared as much as I did. It helps me relive those precious moments. 

I have been so inspired by some of the blogs I've been reading lately. I love finding new mom's to follow & learn from. I find little things to take from each one of them, to help me be a better mother. I hope to inspire other women the exact same way. 

I think that I get scared to share my opinion or outlook, but I've decided that if someone doesn't like it, they can just stop reading. I can't wait to start sharing more experiences with all of you! 

Winter is here!

Our first summer with Hudson flew by so fast- I was so sad when it started getting cold! Now, I'm even more bummed cause Wyoming only had a couple weeks of beautiful fall weather. It's officially winter!! We winterized our camper, plugged in all our heaters, & started using the crockpot every day!

As much as I miss the warm days & going on adventures with Hudson all day, I know our first winter together will be a blast! I can't wait to have our own Christmas! Usually Shawn & I just drove home to Utah & switch off between our families. But this year, we want to keep it simple & do our own thing. I'm so excited! Hudson's first Christmas will be a memorable one! If anyone has any cute craft ideas, send 'em my way! 

Hudson has done surprisingly well being inside all day. We usually get cabin fever pretty easy- so we have to do lots of activities to keep us busy! He is scooting/army crawling all over the house! Any time I'm doing workouts or yoga, he is pulling himself up on me or trying to pick up the weights. Haha it definitely makes my workouts take longer! I don't mind though - I have my whole life to workout, & only a few short years of him being this little & learning so many new things! He has been testing out trying to stand on his own & it scares me so bad!! He even gets this excited look on his face, like he's so big & proud! I think he will be walking before he's even one! 

Post Baby Body!

Getting my body back after Hudson has not been as easy as I imagined! I thought, for some reason, I would be one of those lucky girls who doesn't get any stretch marks & got their body back just weeks after giving birth. FALSE. I ate relatively healthy during my pregnancy, but I definitely indulged a lot. I wouldn't change a thing though! I drank a green smoothie every day, snacked on almonds, drank tons of water, had an apple & orange a day, only organic/noGMO, etc. It was crazy! But there's nothing more rewarding than having a healthy, smart baby boy when those long months end.

Since having Hudson, I have busted my butt getting back in shape! I started going on daily 2 mile walks 6 weeks post-partum, eating 60% healthy, & doing little Pinterest workouts. I rarely worked out while I was pregnant, so my muscles were like jelly! I cried during my first plank! I am so happy to finally be back to normal. My body is so much different though. Not as firm & my belly is still pretty loose & fluffy. I try not to be too hard on myself though. I just make it a goal to be better than I was the day before. Especially with clean eating. Cause some days, I need a freshly baked cookie or pizza on a Friday night! I feel so much better when I've been eating clean, that alone, is worth not giving in to crappy food.

Now that its getting colder, I thought it would be hard to stay on track- mainly because I was living off fresh fruits & vegetables all summer! There is nothing better than starting your day with a bowl of fresh fruit! Ah! I already miss my daily pineapple fix. I started searching healthy fall recipes on Pinterest, and surprisingly, I love them! We are already adding them into our weekly meals. I have been stocking up on zucchini, squash, & apples. It is so easy & simple to just cut up some zucchini, toss it into some coconut oil & put on top of some brown rice or quinoa. I love it! The hardest part about eating healthy is the convenience. I try to keep Luna Bars, almonds, boiled eggs, Skinny Pop & a water bottle in my diaper bag at all times. It has kept me from grabbing random foods when I'm out n about! With a busy baby like Hudson, I have to have back-up snacks just in case we get caught up playing at the park or wandering around book stores!

I will be updating a lot on my progress with eating clean & getting bikini ready for next summer, mostly because I know it will keep me accountable, but also because I know how much I love a good mom/fitness blog!

life via camera roll // the past few weeks

7 months

Loves: appliances, eating anything he can get his hands on, climbing all over mama, seeing his reflection, trees, grass, animals, & bath time!

Dislikes: having his face wiped off, being changed in public places, riding in the car at night, rice cereal.

He is at such a fun age & it is a blast being able to play with him all day. He is just learning to scoot around & has been sitting up for a few weeks. He loves to eat! When he's grumpy, all you have to do is show him a microwave or the fridge. I don't know why he loves appliances so much but it never stops making me laugh. We are even thinking of bringing him to Home Depot to show him all the fridges! He is definitely starting to grab everything - I have to keep an eye on him constantly. I love it though! He is so smart & fearless. Which also scares me! I don't know what I'm going to do when this kid is walking! Every day he learns something new & becomes more independent. I'm trying to enjoy every stage he goes through because they pass so quickly!! Being a mom is seriously the best. 

Utah //

I have been visiting Utah for a few weeks now & it's the first time I've been away from Shawn with Hudson. I'm so ready to be back to routine & have my little family back together! We wouldn't have normally stayed so long but my big sister flew out for 10 days & I couldn't miss out on all of the siblings & grandbabies finally being together! The days went by so quickly. Sitting in a room with all of them felt surreal. Staring at my mom & sisters, remembering exactly why I always wanted to grow up & be a mix of all three. Watching all the kids interact was seriously priceless!  

Hudson is growing right before my eyes. I get pretty emotional about it. That kid is my whole world. He is such a happy little guy & it amazes me to watch him light up a room - even a room full of strangers. His happiness is the reason I wake up every morning. The last couple weeks, he has been teething, having a growth spurt & caught his first cold. It was pretty rough. But between his fevers, our long naps, stroller rides & constant distraction - he stayed happy. Smiling through the coughs & laughing while trying to bite everyone's fingers off! He officially has 2 adorable teeth, almost sitting up & we have been introducing food! I'm hoping to get back on track with posting his monthly updates - there's so much that needs to be documented. Time is just flying!! I can't believe he's almost 6 months. Ahh!