settle down

We have started getting comfortable in the new (old) apartment we moved into. But we both feel like something is missing! We keep coming up with ideas like, moving back into the camper & going to a smaller town where there's more outdoor activities that we enjoy. There's a few other opportunities that have come up also - ones I won't share til we know more information. But, we are restless! I thought having Hudson would make us feel more settled- in so many ways, it has, but we love our adventures & while he's still small enough where moving around doesn't affect schooling, we might as well! Even then, maybe I'll just home school him. ;) There are no set plans yet, but I'm hoping we don't choose to stay in one spot. It always seemed like such a hassle moving around for his work, but now we are getting the itch to do it again! 

As far as post partum goes, I think I'm back to my old self! Granted, I still have a few more pounds left to lose& I'm definitely trying to get rid of the loose skin on my belly! Our bodies are so amazing. After giving birth, I felt like I was learning how to function all over again! But now, I'm back to working out at least an hour a day, eating clean 80% of the time & always drinking water! I'm not doing any extreme diets or cleansing to reach my goal. This is a lifestyle, not a short term goal. Also- with breastfeeding, I would never risk my supply lowering just because I want to drop extra weight! It's so crazy to get back to normal though. I miss pregnancy every day - & I never felt more beautiful than when this little guy was growing in my belly. But now I get to feel that way everytime I look at him. My little love. 

I'm working on a few projects right now & can't wait to share them with you all! Having Hudson has made me more motivated & more determined than ever to chase my dreams & be the best mama possible. I can't even imagine the girl I was before my little Hudson came along. Every day gets sweeter & sweeter.

peaceful

Sunday morning with Hudson all to myself, drinking my coffee & listening to quiet music that's making me wish it was fall. These moments are some of my favorite, now that I'm a mama. Baby sleeping in my arms, smiling & holding onto me - imagining all the adventures we'll go on, the things I'll teach him, the music he'll discover & all the little things that will fascinate him that I take for granted every day. But for now, I'm so happy that he's my four month old, sweet baby boy. Relaxing & resting up for another rolling session in the living room. He is the reason I was created - love this nugget so much. 

Every night, after we've put Hudson to bed- we lay down & talk about how amazing he is. Look through all our pictures/videos & of course, I usually find an excuse to go check on him. It's also like that when he naps during the day! I love the break & being able to get stuff done, but I feel like half of me isn't there because he's not awake & I can't see that little boy's face light up when I'm kissing him & telling him how much I love him. There is no better feeling. 

This week he experienced Brother Bear for the first time - & for those of you that don't know, that's one of my favorites! His reaction honestly made me cry. I'm ridiculous- these mama emotions are insane. Hudson was kicking, smiling, making noises, yelling & laughing! I couldn't even handle the cuteness. It's so fun to watch him experience things like that. Another thing he learned this week is how to pop his tongue! We do it back n forth all the time now. He gets the biggest smile when I do it!

I adore seeing him grow & learn, but it is definitely bittersweet. I wish I could freeze time! He is getting so big & developing the sweetest personality. I love him more, every day! We always talk about how slow time goes by those last few weeks, waiting for our boy & how once he was born, time just sped up! Days pass so quickly. I'm really hoping that once we get settled into our new place, time will slow down! But for now, I'll embrace every second- because I know these little moments will pass.

Oh, we found a new place! We have moved so many times since Hudson was born! I'm hoping this is the last time for a while. Our apartment is in a 4-plex, the exterior is pink & it needs a little work before we feel completely at home there! Tonight we are re painting the interior. This weekend we will move in, but there will still be remodeling going on. The beginning of the week, we have someone putting in new flooring in the kitchen & bathroom. Along with us installing new cabinets & countertops! I'm pretty excited to have a project & make it feel like home, but I can't wait to get it all done! I have been thrifting so much lately - finding all sortsa treasures for our new home. I'll have to post pictures when things get more settled! 

Shawn has been working 6 days a week & still coming home to go do work on the new place - I don't know what I would ever do without him. He still manages to be sweet as ever & even rock Hudson to sleep so I can lay down & relax. That hubby of mine is a total babe. 

holding on with his hand & foot

[ 2 months ]

my little man is growing more every day - & I'm falling more n more in love with him. 

Transitioning to Mama Bear

Being a mother is seriously the best thing. Ever. I know it sounds cliche- but I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin. He has changed me 100%. He motivates me to be a better person, not just a better mom. I find myself getting emotional over anything to do with family. It is really the most beautiful blessing. Now that he's here, I can't imagine my life without him. I don't know how my mornings were ever happy without waking up to his cute little toothless smile.

Before Hudson, my days consisted of sleeping in til noon, drinking coffee til 3, working out, cleaning, making dinner & playing on Pinterest all day. Then my weekends were going on adventures with my hubby & taking lots of naps! I had no idea how boring I was. I told Shawn just last night that I've always fantasized about being a mom, and how much fun I would have with my baby- but now, I fantasize about my white cloud-like bed & a long nap. He reminded me that I've been the queen of sleep for years & that I lived it up before becoming a mama. Haha // he also made a comment about how nice it is for me to be tired at 9 instead of bugging him to stay up and watch movies with me every night, like I used to. Granted, Hudson has started sleeping through the night & it has been heavenly but I wake up naturally, just to check on him. Mom senses are no joke! 

We are getting pretty used to his schedule & it makes planning outings much easier! Although, I'm still trying to get used to trying to nurse in public. It is so awkward, and Hudson isn't crazy about being completely covered! Every morning, I go running/walking at the park & Hud absolutely loves it. He usually sleeps, but when he's awake, he is SO happy listening to all the different birds chirping! Seeing him in the stroller helps me push myself harder too- sounds crazy, but I remind myself that I gave birth to that little cutie & labor is much harder than running up a hill! While giving birth, my mom kept telling me "You can do hard things!!" & I say it to myself all the time. Not just when I'm working out! Not every day is heaven with a baby, sometimes he is a fussy little punk & doesn't want to do anything but yell at my boob & fuss when he's not nursing! So on those days, I've learned to get some snacks, turn on a movie & just love on him! I'm tellin' you, it took me a while to figure out how to be patient. I can't even tell you how many times I called my mom crying about how I couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom & it was 5 o'clock & I still hadn't eaten! Haha I'm so glad that he's more content & actually likes being in his monkey chair so I can have a break!

It is so crazy that my baby will be 10 weeks tomorrow! Every day goes by so quick. He is already growing out of newborn clothes & wears size 1 diapers- almost ready for the next size. Ah!! Where has the time gone? He talks to me all day & has started watching animated movies with me! I can lay him down on his boppy & he will just lay there amazed at the screen, sucking on his fist! He is obsessed with his hands lately! It's the funniest thing! Instead of waking up crying, I can hear him sucking on his hands. Its so cute to wake up to! He is getting so chunky, I am always nibbling on his rolls & kissing his chubby cheeks! He already gives me looks like I'm crazy whenever I smooch him all over his face! I love it so much. He is the cutest thing in the world!

I'm still working on my Labor & Delivery story- it's taking me forever! There is just so much to tell & I don't want to forget little details! It already seems like I'm forgetting some of it! My mind is just all over the place. That's one thing I wish I had done right after I had him! So, advice to other new mama's- write it down! They sleep so much the first few weeks & there's definitely time! I still had such a strong nesting instinct the first couple weeks so in my spare time, I was deep cleaning everything & doing laundry. Don't do that. Haha it doesn't help you heal any sooner & you'll be even more drained! It's so funny how during all the painful contractions, I kept thinking I only wanted one kid now, because it hurt so bad! But then after the whole experience was over & he was in my arms- I wanted to do it all over again. Its so amazing. Ah. That's another bit of advice for new mama's // Don't let horror stories about L&D scare you- it will hurt, you will feel like it is impossible to get that baby out of you, but you're made for this! I remember I was most nervous about being spread eagle in front of people, but once its happening, you don't even notice because your mind is completely focused on getting your little sweetheart out! 

Anyway, I'm getting anxious now that Hudson has been napping for two hours. I'm ready to play with my baby!! 

Life with baby Hudson

Our new life as a family has been an absolute dream. My whole life, I imagined what it would be like to be a mother- I could have never imagined that it would be this amazing. Don't get me wrong, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life - but it's getting easier! The first 6 weeks were rough! I never knew how crazy lack of sleep can make you. Hudson has been such a good baby, though. The hard parts have mostly been due to my post partum hormones! The hormones gave me a rash that is just barely going away! It got worse the more I nursed! Luckily, it's started to go away now that my hormones have evened out!

Hudson is such a happy & smart baby! I love spending my days with him - watching him learn & seeing his big smile everytime I talk to him. It's hard to believe that he's almost 8 weeks old! Days go by so quick! 

Our life has been so blessed with this little boy. Everything revolves around him. We lay down in bed, just talking & watching him! Shawn is such a great dad - it's made me fall more in love with him everyday! He helps so much & is willing to do anything so this mama can relax. He leaves the house at 5 am & sometimes gets home as late as 8! After a long day, he still takes Hudson & makes me go for a drive or brings me flowers & chocolate. We've learned so much about each other through this experience & became closer than ever. I couldn't imagine sharing a life with anyone else. I feel so honored to be his wife & to be Hudson's mother. 

I've been writing my Labor & Delivery story & I'm hoping to share it soon! Finding time to blog is much different now - how do all these moms do it?! Total rockstars. Adjusting to a schedule revolving around a newborn has been interesting. But, I can't wait to share his birth story with all of you! 

Overdue!

So, I'm still pregnant... 

||Pregnancy Questions||

How far along?  40 weeks 

Stretch marks? Yes indeed. Starting to get irritated when clothes rub against them. Ugh..

Sleep? Bout the same! I feel pretty lucky with that!

Miss anything? I couldn't possibly name all of the things I miss. I miss normal things even more now that I'm passed my due date! Haha 

Movement? Always! It makes me so anxious that I can feel him squirming in my arms soon. 

Cravings? I haven't been craving anything - but I have decided to indulge in snacks & some junk food because I haven't my whole pregnancy & I'll be eating super clean & healthy again once he's out. So excited to get my body back!

Belly button- in or out? I would say it's half n half. Haha 

Feeling? Pretty tired & uncomfortable. Sometimes I get emotional too- I'm just so ready to hold my son.

This is officially my last pregnancy update! Woooo!! If/when I hit 41 weeks, I'll be at the hospital being induced! I had my last appointment & haven't had much progress since last time. Still dilated to a 2 but now I'm 80% effaced! He stripped my membranes again hoping to speed things up, but I doubt it'll do any good. This little guy is quite cozy in there!

I'm starting to get pretty uncomfortable. He is getting big & my Braxton Hicks have been knocking the breath out of me! I haven't had many real contractions yet, that I know of! Hubby rubs my back every night after I put heat on it for a few minutes. It seems to help me relax & that makes it much easier to fall asleep! 

We have everything ready for this babe to make his debut! Hospital bag is packed, everything is washed, car seat is in the car & I have all my things for nursing & healing afterwords. Anytime now, baby boy! Also, we have his full name picked out & I'm just dying to share it. Only a few more days!! Can't wait til my posts are mostly of our little nugget! 

Counting down!

I'm officially four days away from my due date! At this point, I'm not near as nervous as I was a few weeks ago. I think I've come to a peaceful realization that if I stay positive & strong, it'll help get me through labor & delivery. I'm a firm believer that maintaining a positive mind set can go a long way! 

The past week I've started getting pretty uncomfortable. He is getting heaving & now that he is dropping, it feels like I can barely walk or that he could just fall out at any time! Haha // my nights are getting interesting too. Shawn wakes up from a dead sleep offering to help me get out of bed every two hours. This belly is no joke! I can tell that baby boy has way less room now, but he still squirms just as much! Everyone said I would start to feel him less during this last month, but I'm pretty sure he took that as a challenge! I feel him non-stop! I can almost grab onto his little feet. I'm not complaining though- he makes me so happy, even when he keeps me up til 4 am practicing his moves! 

I think I am actually starting to get kind of emotional about not being able to feel him in my belly soon. I know that having him here will be the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, but I know for sure that I'll miss it. I feel like I've really embraced every aspect of my pregnancy though. Rarely have any complaints- even through the hard times. I love feeling his movements, hiccups & stretches! It feels like just yesterday I was getting excited over his little flutters, & now he is big n strong, ready to come out & change our whole life! 

Oh, & for anyone who is wondering about visiting us when he's born- we plan on only having our immediate family visit at the hospital. Once we are home & feeling up to it, we will have friends come visit! I know it's a bummer to wait, but I don't feel bad cause he is ours & we want to experience the first few days just us three. I will not be giving out info on our hospital or room number & our family is being advised not to either. I have already had some interesting responses to our plan, but I seriously don't feel even a little guilty. We still love you all, but we want him to ourselves for a bit. :)

Update on baby - we had our appointment today! I've only progressed a little but I'm up to 2 centimeters dilated & 50% effaced. He did a membrane sweep & I've already been feeling quite crampy from that. We are hoping he will come on or before his due date! I have my next appointment the day after he's due, but hopefully I won't have to go to that one & he'll be here already! 

Mango icee in hand- walking the canyon to get this boy out!

Me & my handsome - just waitin' on our little fella. [hopin' he looks just like his daddy] 

Pregnancy Q's & Bump Update

||Pregnancy Questions||

How far along?  38 weeks

Stretch marks?  Yes!

Sleep? Sadly, my sleep is getting worse every night. It's just hard to stay comfortable!

Miss anything? REAL sushi. I've been on a sushi kick & California Rolls are getting old!

Movement? All the time - especially now that Daddy is home. He goes crazy in there when he talks.

Cravings? Maybe the sushi is considered a craving? But not really, mostly ice water still!

Belly button- in or out? Still mostly flat, the top pops out sometimes though.

Feeling? So ready to be a mama! 

I know you guys are probably ready for me to stop posting about my belly and all these crazy questions, but now that I'm so close to my due date, I want to update as much as I can! This pregnancy is almost over- which completely blows my mind! Did it fly by to everyone else too? At the beginning, 40 weeks sounds like a lifetime but before you know it, you're nesting & just waiting for the baby. Ah! I'm so excited to NOT feel the nesting instinct though, I just want to relax! I'm always doing some kind of project. Cleaning baseboards, sanitizing the whole apartment- every day. Everything is so organized! I thought I was bad before, but WOW.

One thing I've noticed the past couple weeks is that I'm very anti-social! [I'm sorry to anyone who feels like I'm a bad friend.] I'm so scatterbrained, and the only thing I can think about is the upcoming weeks, and becoming a mother. It's hard for me to focus on anything else. I've talked to a few mom friends, & they all say they were the same way! Now that my hubby is home, its probably worse too. I just want to cuddle up with him, talk to our boy, and wait for him to arrive! 

Oh! I can't believe I forgot to mention my new blog design! I have been following/obsessing over this awesome girl, Heidi on Instagram for a little over a year now, and she agreed to help my ideas come to life! She did even better than I imagined. I'm completely obsessed with my logo/header. You should all check out her blog here! She is definitely a jack of all trades- you will love her! 

Anywho, I guess the only other update I have is that I went to the Dr yesterday & I've only dilated a 1/2 centimeter since last week. I'm starting to think he's pretty cozy in there! Every girl I know is either having their baby early or they are on the verge of it. Even ones due after me! It's pure torture. I really just want to hold my baby boy. I love being pregnant & I need to enjoy these last few weeks being just with Shawn but I think we are both getting anxious at this point. Come on, little guy!! 

Even my niece is ready for him. ;)

〈〈 38 weeks 〉〉

ready for you, baby boy. ◆

I've been away from my handsome husband for 6 weeks & he finally got home two nights ago! I'm so happy to have my other half back- I was starting to go crazy! It's such a relief that now he will be here whenever our son decides to make his grand appearance! I've been so worried that I would go into labor early & I would have to do it all without him by my side. I feel so blessed. I can't believe we will be a family of three in just a couple weeks! 

Everything is ready for our little man at this point! I've almost finished washing all his things & started packing our hospital bag. I'm hoping to have everything done by my 39 week mark. Ah, where has my pregnancy gone?! This strong baby boy will be out of my belly & in my arms before we know it. I am so, so excited! 

My nights have definitely started getting more uncomfortable, which was expected- especially with how close I am. It's just getting more awkward & hard to switch from side to side. Then I almost get up 6 times a night, regardless of how much I drink! When I actually sleep, it's good sleep though. But as for right now, he is doing some intense karate moves in my belly & making it far too amusing & ticklish for me to sleep! I have Braxton Hicks a TON throughout the day & night. I don't think they hurt, they are mostly just tense & my belly clenching makes it hard to move. I've been drinking lots of Raspberry Leaf Tea & I think it makes me have even more mini contractions.  I've heard great things about the wonders of the tea & it makes me happy cause it tastes sensational. It doesn't take much to please me in the tea department though, I love most teas. No sugar, no honey- just tea. Aaahhhh :)

Pregnancy has been such an amazing journey & I think it's definitely been the greatest thing I've ever experienced. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have fallen asleep smiling every night. He is the most incredible blessing. He has already changed me in countless ways - & I can't wait to see the ways he continues to change me. Becoming his mama bear will be the greatest adventure -I can't wait to meet this little cub.